How to contain your stress
How to contain your stress
Let’s think about other practical ways to contain your stress.
RESIST COMPARISONS
Comparing your exam performance or preparation with that of your classmates can cause paralysing stress. When we use other people’s achievements as a standard, we probably set our expectations too high or too low. Make a list of people with whom you tend to compare yourself and your performance. Consciously resist doing so. Rather use your own performance as a standard against which to set your goals. Competing against yourself is the best and healthiest way to improve.
Ensure realistic performance expectations
Research shows that many students demand too much from themselves in exams. Someone who usually gets 60% for maths may suddenly demand 75% of himself or herself; or a student who achieved straight As in matric may expect to do the same at university. That is not going to happen. If you find yourself thinking “60% is the same as failing to me”, do a reality check. See where your marks are now. Work hard to keep them there, then slowly build on that. If we set realistic performance goals for ourselves, we will experience success rather than failure, and nothing motivates like success.
Identify any unrealistic expectations you may have, especially in the subjects you find most stressful. Then draw up an action plan, setting goals that will slowly but surely get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
MANAGE OUTSIDE PRESSURES
Other people – parents, lecturers, friends – may have expectations and demands that can make you feel pressured and stressed. Monitor your performance honestly and regularly. You are the best judge of your achievements. Set your own realistic standards.
Manage the fear of competing for scarce resources
Final-year students in particular are often almost paralysed by the thought that they may not find a job when they finish studying. Work out a step-by-step approach to looking for that job, do as much as you can, and remember that you cannot control every outcome. Also consider different possibilities to achieve your goal – you may be too fixated on one career path. Perhaps there is another way. Go to our sister publication, GRADnext, for practical help in this regard.
Positive self-statements
The way we see ourselves and the way we talk to ourselves control the way we will respond in stressful situations. Each time you start thinking or saying something negative, such as “I failed last time, I’ll probably fail again this time”, challenge this attitude with a logical, forceful self-statement: “OK, so I failed last time but that doesn’t mean I’m going to fail again this time. I’m better prepared and I’ve got a new approach to my work.”
This does not mean fantasising. Don’t sit and daydream about being successful. That will only make you give up at the first hurdle. If you have an exam coming up, don’t visualise the A grade; visualise yourself studying hard and successfully.
Reward yourself whenever you succeed: if you manage to concentrate in class or get through a difficult piece of work, congratulate yourself. You’ll get to feel good about yourself, and your self-confidence will improve.
Write down some positive statements and say them aloud on your way to class or to an exam. Use these examples or come up with your own:
